Ministry Is Emotional. Marriage Is Messy. Here’s How We’ve Made It Work.
Marriage is already hard. Add in the emotional weight of ministry—Sunday pressure, late-night calls, staff transitions, financial stress—and the stakes get even higher.
There’s no perfect formula for navigating that kind of pressure together. But after 35 years of marriage and 40 years of ministry, Faith and I have picked up a few things. (Mostly the hard way.)
In this episode of The LeadingSmart Podcast, things look a little different: I’m not in the driver’s seat—Faith and I are both guests. And we’re talking about 35 years of marriage, four major ministry moves, and what we’ve learned about communication, calling, and how to love each other through every change.
Holly sat down with us to unpack what it’s really looked like to build a life together while leading in ministry. We shared stories we’ve never talked about publicly—including the time I had an engagement ring in my pocket… and Faith told me she needed to fast from our relationship for 30 days. (You can’t make this stuff up.)
We also talked honestly about the transitions that were hardest on our marriage—and what we’ve learned from each one:
The surprising move Faith said was our hardest (hint: not the one you’d expect)
How moving to Texas almost broke us
What it looked like to navigate calling when one person is thriving and the other is floundering
How we’ve learned to communicate through transition and decision-making
Why our introvert/extrovert dynamic has flipped over time—and what helps us thrive now
We also talk about raising kids in ministry—what we got right, what we’d do differently, and how we tried to protect our kids from the pressure of being “pastor’s kids.” (Spoiler: no sermon stories about them without permission.)
And just to lighten things up, we ended with a Newlywed Game lightning round—including Faith’s go-to coffee order, who said “I love you” first, and what we’re most likely doing on a Saturday morning. (Our answers may surprise you.)
If you're married in ministry, or just trying to lead well while loving your spouse through the highs and lows, we hope this one encourages you.
👉 Want all 40 lessons from this season? Download the free companion ebook here.
👉 Next week’s episode: The Most Important Task of a Leader