10 Quiet Habits That Grow Leadership Influence
A few months ago, I heard my longtime friend David Whiting talk about influence with a room full of Executive Pastors, and I immediately thought, “We need to have this conversation on the podcast.”
David is Senior Vice President of GenerosityOS and a LeadingSmart Senior Consultant. He’s spent decades leading in and around the local church, and he has a way of making leadership both practical and deeply personal. In our conversation, he shared something that immediately clicked with me.
Over the years, he started noticing there were certain people he wanted in the room.
Not always the person with the biggest title, or the person who had been around the longest, or the person with the most impressive resume. Sometimes a volunteer had more influence than a staff member. Sometimes a younger leader had more influence than someone twice their age. Sometimes the person he wanted to hear from wasn’t technically “in charge” of the decision at all.
That raises an important question for every church leader:
What actually causes a person to gain influence?
We often assume influence comes from title, talent, tenure, or being invited into the right meeting. And to be clear, competency matters. But there is another side of influence we may not talk about enough.
The things fully in your control.
Your title may not change this week. Your role may not change this month. You may not be invited into every meeting you want to be in. But every leader can choose how they show up, how they follow through, how they receive correction, how they handle mistakes, and how they contribute to the health of the team.
Those things may not show up on a resume, but they absolutely shape the way people experience your leadership.
10 Quiet Habits That Grow Influence
David framed these as the character side of influence. Not character in a vague or overly spiritualized sense, but the everyday choices that are fully within a leader’s control.
Here are ten of them:
1. Do what you said.
Follow through. Meet deadlines. Return messages. Finish what has your name on it. Influence grows when people learn they can count on you.
2. Own it when you blow it.
Everyone drops the ball at some point. The leaders who gain trust are the ones who say so first, take responsibility, and name how they are going to make it right.
3. Tell the truth.
Don’t shade the details, leave out what matters, exaggerate, or spin the story to protect yourself. Trust is hard to build when people wonder whether they are getting the full truth.
4. Bring the effort.
Work hard. Be dependable. Become the kind of person others trust to carry weight. This does not mean neglecting your family or living at the office, but it does mean bringing real effort to the work in front of you.
5. Think church, not turf.
Love your ministry area, but care more about the mission of the whole church than protecting your own department. Leaders gain influence when others know they can think beyond their own lane.
6. No surprises.
Keep the right people informed, especially when something goes wrong. Your supervisor does not need to know every detail of everything you do, but they should not be surprised by the things that matter.
7. Stay teachable.
Receive correction without defensiveness. Let people challenge your ideas. When someone gives you feedback, “Tell me more” is usually a better response than immediately explaining why they are wrong.
8. Evaluate honestly.
Be the first person to see what is not working. Getting better matters more than looking good. If everything you do succeeds, it may mean you are not risking enough or you are not evaluating well.
9. Be loyal in the right rooms.
Be a raving fan publicly and a frank critic privately. Reasonable loyalty builds trust. Blind loyalty can become unhealthy, but public criticism of your teammates or leaders almost always shrinks your influence.
10. Serve with joy.
Nothing builds influence faster than humility, helpfulness, and a good attitude. People want to be around leaders who are willing to serve and who bring life into the room instead of constantly draining it.
What This Means for Growing Churches
As a church grows, the decision-making room often gets smaller, not larger. That can be frustrating for staff members who want more visibility, more access, or a greater voice in what’s happening.
And sometimes, senior leaders do need to communicate better. They may need to clarify how decisions are made, who is responsible for what, and why certain people are in certain rooms.
But before we ask, “Why am I not in the room?” it may be worth asking, “What am I doing with the influence I already have?”
Because influence is usually built before authority is given.
It’s built in the everyday moments when people learn whether they can trust you with responsibility, feedback, pressure, and hard conversations.
Those choices matter, and over time, those choices build influence.
Listen to the Full Conversation
In this episode of The LeadingSmart Podcast, David Whiting and I talk about the quiet habits that grow a leader’s influence, especially on church staff teams.
We unpack why some people gain trust regardless of title, why others may feel overlooked, and why the things fully in your control may matter as much as your skills or position.
This is a great conversation for senior pastors, executive pastors, ministry leaders, and anyone who wants to grow in the kind of influence that actually helps the church move forward.
Listen here:
We’re Here to Help
Influence is not just about individual leaders. It is also about the culture those leaders are growing in.
When teams are unclear on what builds trust, how decisions are made, or what kind of leadership earns greater responsibility, frustration can build quickly. People start guessing. They assume influence comes from title, personality, proximity, or volume.
At LeadingSmart, we help churches clarify structure, strengthen staff culture, and build healthier leadership teams so the right people are trusted with the right work at the right time.
If your team is navigating unclear roles, decision-making bottlenecks, culture tension, or leaders who want more voice but are not sure how to grow in influence, we’d love to help.