I think the best marriages are made when two people understand what fills the tank of their spouse, and when they each do everything they can to make sure it stays filled. And I think the best leaders know what gives them energy, and they know what drains it away.
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Have you ever been in a job where it felt like no one wanted you to think or contribute, where you were just supposed to get your work done? You were wired to change the world, to make a difference, to influence the people around you—but you were stuck in a position where you were assembling widgets?
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When every moment of my life is scheduled, I don’t have the margin to stop and listen to someone who needs an ear; I don’t have the time to jump in and help a neighbor fix their sprinkler; or don’t have the flexibility to go to my kids sporting event that was scheduled at the last minute.
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You should never e-mail when you are in any type of relational conflict with another individual. What is the alternative? Talk with him or her in person so that you can see their eyes, watch their body language, and discern their mood or disposition.
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With any big change, you need a plan for communication. Who should you tell first? Who should you tell next? Who would be hurt if they found out about it from someone else in your organization?
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Anytime you want to start something new, make a change, add a program, or expand the budget, make sure you don’t skip the meeting before the meeting. Be sure to meet with every key influencer ahead of time.
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The right coaching environment is personal and transformative for no more than 20 people. Everyone has a chance to be heard. Every story can be told and unpacked. Coaching happens over a period of weeks or months, so there is enough time between gatherings that life has a chance to happen.
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