Counting the “Yes” Votes

I just spent a few minutes in memory lane reading a letter exchange I had with a leader who was contemplating leaving our church six years ago. They had written several pages of gripes and complaints about the church, which I attempted to graciously address. This leader ended the letter by laying out a challenge with a list of 14 people: Talk to everyone of these people about why they left the church, or if they are still here, what they don’t like about the church. If you don’t, I’ll know my points are valid and I’ll leave the church.

I really don’t like being threatened. And frankly, after having several one-on-one conversations with this leader and reading their list of things they were unhappy about, I believed it was probably best that they leave. Here is how I responded…

In your list of names, in every case (of the ones who are no longer at the church), I, or someone on our senior team, had a conversation with them upon their leaving. We knew their issues. There is no reason to have that conversation again. The others on your list are still here and participating.

We aren’t interested in “no” votes. There are over 290 million people in America alone who haven’t voted “yes” at GCC. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I’m just saying there are a number of reasons someone isn’t going to attend GCC. Geography is a big one. But there are a bunch of other reasons. We just want to say, “Here’s where we are going…do you want to come with us? Do you want to help us get there? Yes? Good, let’s go.” We aren’t counting the people who say “no.” We aren’t mad at them. We don’t think they’re stupid. We don’t think they are lesser as Christians. They just want to go somewhere else and that is fine. We’re looking for the yes votes.

Does that mean that we don’t want feedback? Absolutely not. I have conversations every week (with people who are “in”) about what they wish were different. We change things every day. I imagine you’ve never been to a church anywhere that is quicker at changing things that aren’t working or aren’t effective. I believe there is a “kernel of truth” in just about everything. So I look for that. Sometimes it’s a high percentage of truth…sometimes you have to look hard to get past the individual’s filters and biases…but you can find a kernel of truth.

I think too often churches get side-tracked by the “no” votes. We cater to their whining, or we spend all our energy trying to keep them happy, or we do damage control because of the side conversations they are having. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to listen. Sometimes (perhaps often) God will speak through someone when we least expect it. But there is a cross-over point after we’ve listened, considered and prayed. We know what God has called the church to do and be–and we must pursue that with confidence.

Some will go with us. And some won’t. And we’ll experience deep pain, sometimes, when the person who chooses to leave is our closest friend or relative–the person who we never imagined moving on without.

Just put one foot in front of the other. Count ‘yes’ votes, and keep moving.

I Have No Regrets

In the spring of 1993, Faith and I were sitting in the lounge of a hotel in San Antonio. We had met an “older” couple (perhaps mid-50′s, but when you are 26, it seems old) and were having a great talk with them. I think they were enjoying our youth and we were enjoying their wisdom. Faith was a few months from giving birth to our first child, and they were reflecting on stories of their kids–who were now adults.

At one point, I remember seeing the man in deep thought. He looked down at Faith’s belly, and then looked straight at us with intensity. He said, “Cherish every moment. You are going to snap your fingers and your baby will be graduating from high school.”

I’ve never forgotten those words. And in recent days, they seem to be coming back to me over and over again.

Today, our little girl finishes high school. Tomorrow she graduates. And in a couple months, she’s off to college.

I think we have cherished the moments. I don’t have any regrets. I love her more than seems possible and am so excited to see her launch into life. She has consistently made good choices, she has a strong faith in God, and she is grounded in what she believes. People say she looks like her mother–which is the highest compliment possible. She couldn’t be more ready for what is ahead of her. And I’m jazzed to see what God does in and through her.

Congratulations Heather. I am so proud of you for running this leg of the race well.

Lady Gaga, Scotty McCreery and Harold Camping

It’s officially been three years since Pop Goes the Church was published, so I figured I’d mark the date with a little pop culture randomness…

1. I had an interesting conversation last week with reporter Maya Carpenter of The Christian Post. She was writing an article about the influence of Lady Gaga and whether the church is partially to blame.
2. The best actor on TV this year goes to Jason Clarke for his work on The Chicago Code. He’s been in 45 different movies or shows, but is at the top of his game right now. I first grew to appreciate his art on an older series called Brotherhood.
3. So what about the best actress? I’d give that award to Margo Martindale for her role on the FX series Justified. I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t get an Emmy for her amazing work as Mags, the matriarch of a crime family in the hills of Harlan County.
4. If I ignore the fact that Scotty McCreery somehow made it to the finals, this has been the best season of American Idol in many years. Jennifer Lopez has added a much-needed depth to the judging–and Steven Tyler has added the levity. The talent has been stellar, and the story-telling has been compelling. At the ages of my kids, it is a great family show and gives good opportunity to talk about values, priorities, talent, excellence, hard work, dreams, and the rightness or wrongness of country music.
5. It’s amazing to me that American Idol continues to win the ratings war year-after-year. Popular opinion says every show peaks after a few years, but Idol seems to be bucking the trend. Many people held out hope for Voice as the Idol-killer, but it hasn’t happened yet. Last week, for example, American Idol was in the #1 spot with 23.5 million viewers, while Voice came in #17 with 10 million viewers (source).
6. I’m seeing a lot more product placement ads in TV shows to the point of being annoying. I’m guessing it is the natural outcome of a society that watches live TV less all the time, choosing rather to watch shows delayed on a DVR and thus skipping commercials. I know they have to pay for the show somehow–just wish it wasn’t so annoying.
7. With all the crazy talk about the end of the world last weekend–I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the media called Harold Camping an “evangelical” or “Christian preacher” rather than “whack job.” I think it’s guys like this that make it harder to do ministry in today’s culture than any sin or debauchery. Through all the insanity, I did enjoy this article by Phil Cooke on “What Harold Camping Got Right.”

That’s it for the randomness. But stay tuned for an anniversary offer on Pop Goes the Church in the next few days. I’m working on a deal to be able to offer it to you for 65% lower than Amazon’s price. Wait, was that a product placement ad? So annoying! (But really, I’m serious).

People Have Lots of Good Reasons Not to Come to Church

It doesn’t matter how good your church services are if no one comes. And in today’s culture, people have choices. And sometimes, the other choices they have (besides going to church on Sunday) are not bad ones. They are just different. They could spend the weekend with their family at the lake. They could visit grandma in Ohio. They could travel with the kids baseball team where they’ve been building relationships with the other parents.

So it’s up to us to give our people convincing reasons why church is a great place to grow, ask questions, worship, and learn. I imagine when people saw this video at the close of the service yesterday–it gave them a reason to plan their weekends around this upcoming series.

I Don’t Want to Press ’1′ for English

Recently I’ve had a couple of great customer service experiences. I bought a printer from Lexmark for $120 that came with a five-year warranty. After awhile I had to call their customer service–a live person answered and spent 45-minutes with me on the phone troubleshooting my network printing issues. I can’t imagine the original purchase price even covered this phone call, and yet I still have four years remaining on the warranty. Impressive.

I also had to call Lutron about a light switch dimmer that was malfunctioning. Their support number was easy to find since it was printed on the side of the dimmer. The switch was seven years old and had been used thousands of times. The tech who answered didn’t care how old it was–he sent me two new dimmers free of charge…the “extra one in case the other one goes out.” Now I am a Lutron customer for life.

But unfortunately most customer service stories aren’t so great. Here is my advice for them…

1. Don’t play a recording that says “we are experiencing an unusually high call volume right now.” Just fix your infrastructure.
2. Don’t send me to a call center overseas. I love the people of India, but I need to be able to understand the person with whom I’m talking.
3. Don’t ask me to “Press 1 for English.” This is America. Our language is English. How about, “Press 1 if you don’t speak English.”
4. Don’t continually give me a different number to call. Figure out a way to transfer calls within your own company. It’s not that hard.
5. Don’t play a 30-second music loop when we both know I’m going to be on hold for more than 30-minutes. That means I have to listen to the same piece of music more than 60-times.
6. Don’t hang up on me. When I call your customer service department at 9:30pm and you are open until 10pm and I stay on hold listening to your insane music loop for 30 minutes waiting for you to answer and then you disconnect my call at exactly 10:00pm–it doesn’t make me think pleasant thoughts about you.
7. Don’t ask me to enter my credit card number,  social security number and zip code–and then ask me for the same exact information when a live person comes on the line.
8. Don’t assume that you know why I’m calling. Your menu of options might not meet my needs. Always give me a way to talk to a live person…in America.
9. Don’t try to up-sell me. I’m calling because I’m unhappy with your company. I need you to fix something. Don’t try to sell me more until you’ve made me happy.
10. Don’t call me back with a customer service survey. It’s a nice gesture, but I really don’t want to talk to you anymore. If you want to know what I think, just read my blog.

I’ve decided not to tell you which companies this advice is based on (you know who you are). Just shape up–and maybe someday I’ll write about my great experience with one of your representatives.