I Love Girls
It’s 1am and I’m watching an interview with James Dobson about his new book “Bringing Up Girls.” I don’t know anything about this new book, but listening to the interview reminded me of a few things that I’ve found important in raising girls…
- I tell them they are beautiful as often as I can. That takes no effort–because they are two of the most beautiful teens, inside and out, that have ever existed on planet earth.
- I have always given them the option to use me as the excuse to say “no” or to get out of a tough situation. I tell them to say “Dad won’t let me” anytime they want to if they are uncomfortable.
- I listen a lot.
- As they are now 15 and 17…I try to rarely say “no” when they ask permission to do something. Rather, I ask lots of questions and try to lead them to the right answer.
- I give them space to be quiet, emotional, sad, ecstatic, whatever.
- I encourage them to be themselves. If that means wearing pretty dresses, I’m good with that. If it means emo hair and holey jeans, that’s also good.
- I model a red-hot marriage. I want them to see me love and honor their mother. I used to get the “oh gross” when I’d be kissing on Faith in front of them. But I didn’t care. They go to school every day and hear of another friend’s parents getting divorced–they need to see us madly in love.
I absolutely love having girls. They were fun when they were little–but nothing has been as fun as the teenage years with them. I can’t wait to see what God does with Heather and Megan in every day of their future!
Posted by Tim Stevens | 16 comments
JamesBrett
thanks for the post. i appreciate it on several levels. one, i just ordered a copy of the book in order to review it, and you’ve made me more excited to find it in the mailbox. [by the way i am getting it free through zondervan’s blog network, in which bloggers can get free copies of books, provided they will later post a review.)
secondly, my first child — a daughter — is just over four months, and i really appreciate the advice you’ve given here. i guess i’m nervous as a new parent…
Bill (cycleguy)
Definitely have to go along with you on this one tim. I also had two girls. They are now soon-to-be 35 and 31. I would not trade one moment for any thing or any amount. There were awesome to have, to raise, and the fact they still love me, hug me, will give me a kiss, makes all those "female" quirks worth it.
David
I would have loved to have had a daughter an I love my daughter in law dearly. I love my sister too but, growing up with teenage sister was not a good experience for me. I hoped then that I would never have to raise a daughter in fear if she were to be even slightly like my her. I was blessed to have a son. He is married and 25 yrs old. And very respectful of girls but wary the self seeking ones. Tim I am happy that you and Faith have such great children. As always, thanks for sharing some of your life with all of us. Makes you less mysterious.
Samantha
We are blessed with 4 (!) girls and we loooove every minute of it. Our girls, as yours, as beautiful inside and out. I'm humbled to be their mother and thankful for this blessing and hope I never take it for granted. Your daughter is my oldest daughter's small group leader and I'm so happy to have her in my daughter's life. Thanks for raising wondeful girls!!!
Tweets that mention I Love Girls – LeadingSmart -- Topsy.com
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tim Stevens, Dr. Jack Lumanog, Rachel Wojnarowski, MmmLekker, Tommy Nelson and others. Tommy Nelson said: great words from a dad on raising girls! RT @timastevens: Dobson wrote a book about raising girls- I wrote a blog post- http://bit.ly/9htJ0d [...]
Chad
Thanks for the post Tim. I have 2 very beautiful girls getting ready to enter the teens in a few years. You have provided some helpful insights.
brimcconnell
Thanks Tim. You make me feel like a better dad by reading that. I do those things and maybe, just maybe, my 14 year old daughter will be a better adult because of it.
Joe
I have 3 girls and I LOVE it. The closest I come to wanting to do violence to people is when they say to me, "Are you gonna try for the boy."
RRRR.
Shelly
They are indeed two of the most wonderful teens that I have the privilege of knowing. So very thankful to be their aunt and I have loved watching them grow up.
larry
Proud Dad of two girls, a 3 year old and 11 month old – thanks for the advice!
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[...] Raising Girls [...]
Martin Hill
I have two girls who are approaching their teens (at a pace it seems). This is how I want our relationship to be. I believe they are beautiful and precious gifts from God. There is too much pressure for them to conform to the pressure of expectation from others. I want to support them into their adulthood knowing they can be confident in God, their parents, and themselves.
manny
Awesome read, great tips, i'll call my daughter as soon as she gets out of school today to let her know how beautiful she is.
jskogerboe
God bless you – you rockstar dad! Almost nothing in the world makes me want to jump around and high five somebody more than seeing good parenting in action. This was a great read – a great look into your heart as a father. I'll tell you this right now, their future husbands ought to thank you every day of their married life. I can relate to your journey as a dad… but not to having girls.
My bride and I are busy raising 5 BOYS. Dopbson's "Bringing Up Boys" has been a huge help. I think God knew what we could and couldn't handle. I've aways said that a houseful of boys means more NOISE and fewer ISSUES. 
God bless you and your girls, Tim.
Brian
I was so mad (scared probably) almost five years ago when I found out we were having a girl, but it took about two seconds after we got her home to put those feelings aside. She is the greatest and I think every guy should have a daughter…it softens us up a bit.
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