Two years ago, I made a commitment to my family, to my boss, and to you. You can read it here, but in summary I said…
- There is a dynamic tension in trying to juggle the priorities that are important to me (family, ministry, learning, writing).
- In the previous couple years, I had spent too many nights away from home.
- I made a plan to change that and intentionally keep my priorities right.
And so, I committed to take control of my schedule and spend no more than 30 nights away from my wife in 2008. I made the same commitment at the beginning of 2009.
I’ve just tallied my traveling for last year, and I’m glad to report that I stayed well within my goal for the year. Thank you for your prayers, and for the handful of you who asked me on occasion how I was doing.
The 30-night rule is the right decision for me for this phase of my life. For you, the right decision might be 60-nights…or 3-nights. I don’t know, but if traveling is a part of your life, then it’s important to get some helpful counsel from people who know and love you. I made this decision in consultation with three important people:
- My wife – she’s the one who has to carry the load when I’m gone. She’s also the one who knows when I start to get “toasty” because of an insane schedule.
- Mark Beeson – he’s my boss and close friend. It’s important to me that I’m fulfilling my responsibilities in leading the church, and he helps me figure this out.
- A few trusted friends – there are 2 or 3 other people who I confer with on every speaking request or traveling opportunity that I get. They know me. I trust their insight.
Two questions for you…
- Are you in control of your schedule, or are you controlled by your schedule?
- Do you allow others into your life to help you keep your priorities in check?
4 Comments
Thanks for being so transparant and honest about this. I think your right when you say that it is different for each person. If I told my wife I would be away 30 nights this year I would probably be in the dog house the remaining nights. But for you…it works. Good job Tim and thanks for “bringing it” here on the blog. I have been following for about a year now.
This is great advice, Tim. I’m thinking my rule is more like three nights, but the point that we should have a rule in the first place is well taken.
Tim, in regards to priorities, what you've done here is totally right from a logistics and accountability point of view. You likely know, though, that being physically present doesn't guarantee relational wholeness. My pastor father was always physically home (his study was there), took care of chores, provided, ministered to others, loved/served God and taught the Word with theological integrity but we never had a heart connection. He instructed me, disciplined me and preached at me, but he never looked me in the eyes and asked where I was at, how I was doing. I pray you are intentional about doing that with the ones you love.
Thanks for your leadership in this area. I struggle with the same thing just local nights out. Because I have other Jobs that demand some time from me its a balancing act that can quickly and accidentally go nuts. The Entire time at Exponential this blog entry kept rolling around in my head. How can all these conference speakers who work the speaking circuit possibly have enough time to run a church and a family. Not to mention book writing, coaching networks, teaching in seminary, and all around saving the world.
Thanks for keeping first things first for your family and ultimately for mine.