Video Games Are Cheaper Than Couples Therapy
At least, that's the title of a recent news article on MSNBC.com. It was a great article written by Winda Benedetti about her marriage struggles and how gaming together is actually helpful for their marriage. There were a few quotes I really enjoyed:
"As everyone knows, there’s nothing like gunning down post-apocalyptic
psychopaths and bloodthirsty alien creatures to bring a couple together.""When I surprised Richie with the news that “Borderlands” was going to
be delivered in a matter of hours and then told him that I was looking
forward to playing it with him, the look on his face went from kid-on-Christmas-morning excitement to you-just-backed-your-SUV-over-my-kitten disappointment.""Rather than bickering about who gets to empty the dirty diaper bin, we
now spend our evenings discussing how to take down homicidal humanoids
with names like Nine Toes and Bonehead and Sledge. Rather than debate
who it was who was supposed to have returned the “Winnie the Pooh”
movie that's now two weeks overdue, we chat about whether a submachine
gun, a sniper rifle or maybe a rocket launcher is the best weapon for
completing the mission we’ve just accepted from some nefarious-looking
character."
As much as I enjoyed the article, I even more enjoyed the commentary provided by Jack Magruder (who forwarded me the article). His words were insightful and humorous and, well, classic Jack:
- I found it interesting that she finds two-player first-person shooters to be just as wise an investment for “standard wear and tear” marital ills as two hours of counseling at a family therapist. And honestly, I kind of agree with her–so long as the issues aren’t “big ones” (i.e. affairs, etc). Even though the environment isn’t “real”, it can nudge some real-world issues that cause other things to rise to the surface.
- This all goes back into my original pre-supposition that our world is changing… significantly. The fact that your spouse covered your butt with her plasma-based pulse-rifle when you didn’t see that cannibalistic mutated store-clerk coming around the corner might actually have REAL world benefits of building trust and communication. Who’d a thunk that virtual-world game-play could build real-world community and relational progress like that? But it can (not a guarantee, but “can”). I think that we need to recognize that the bonds formed in virtual environments can, in fact, be just as powerful or more so than “real” ones.
His final sentence makes a pretty good case for online church, don't you think? Agree or disagree with Jack?
Posted by Tim Stevens | 8 comments
Danny Bixby
Agreed on all points. Obviously it helps that both people love video games.
Jack's 2nd statement is very true. These events are just as real/powerful, or more so, than ones in 'real life' because to the participants they are authentic and taking place through a valued medium.
If people didn't care about video games, it wouldn't work the way it does for that couple. And if people aren't already digital natives, I doubt online church would 'work' for them…at the very least, not as well as physical church does.
But for that matter, doesn't church 'work' the best for those who already church natives? It seems that it's harder to build trust, community, relational progress, etc for those to whom church is a foreign environment…much the same way as above.
Dennis Erwin
I disagree. It would be a leap to suggest that Winda Benedetti’s article, or Jack Magruder’s comments, justifies Online church. The virtual activity in Winda’s article helps to bolster an already existing physical/intimate relationship; it does not become the relationship. With Online church, the situation is reversed. The virtual is the source of the relationship, not a venue in order to express or work out an already existing one. The difference is in the foundation of community, and this is a most important difference.
Danny Bixby
I'm not sure I understand your point.
Are you saying that virtual activities are inappropriate to create relationships? And are only appropriate to bolster existing relationships?
Or are you saying that the physical church exists to bolster existing relationships and an online one that would create them instead would be an inappropriate comparison?
Or something else entirely?
Eldon Kelley
My wife and I have found that playing some PS2 or other computer games do help some. Ones that make you work together does help with the communication. It can be fun to laugh at the stupid things that come out of times like these. I agree with the fact that that it doesn't work for the big issues (i.e. affairs). I think that when we can take our minds off ourselves for awhile it really helps. I also believe that doing some simple ministry together can go a longs ways as well. It has helped us in the past as well as some of those that I have given that advice too.
Brice
Good stuff. Highly disagree about correlation to online church or online people in general.
The couple was sitting next to each other why they played! (yes it needed an exclamation point.)
That makes it completely different. They were sharing a physical space and then talking about it, again in the same physical space. Cyber will never replace the physical space. The cyber in this case, the video game, gave them a fun, distracting outlet. It could have been 1870 and they like to shoot rabbits together and discuss the best ways to get them varmints.
But either way you need to be together to do it.
out. bb
Rob Shepherd
That was a great read! Loved it. Now to get my wife to read it.
Theresa Croft
I think I'd rather play a video game with hubster than sit with him while he watch wrestling….
I have some great connections online. When I meet them in person…ministry or business…I'm not disappointed and not lead astray…
I appreciate your insight in this blog post.
Thank you for leading with such a spirit of excellence.
It is awesome to see God pouring out through you as you
exhort, challenge, and encourage others. Keep up the great work
Theresa
http://MarketPlanMinistry.com
Amanda
I've read that article as well, and I must say, I was a bit saddened when the author said, "If we high-five each other in the hallway as we pass, we figure that counts as quality time."
Video games are a *stay-at-home staple* for my husband and I to have fun and spend quality time together. We are a couple that is always on the lookout for games that are good co-op choices and actively plays video games together. We even run a website, http://www.co-oples.com/ where we review all of the video games that we play together.
It wasn't always this way for us. I wasn't very much into gaming before I met my husband, but by watching him play some games that I would deem as "approachable", I was able to see how fun video games are and get into them! Now I'm almost as addicted as he is.