Kudos to you and Faith for being proactive and involving Heather in establishing safety rules. My oldest is only 13, so I am not there yet; however, I have taught high school for 17 years and know teens pretty well. This seems reasonable to me. Your love for Heather is what comes across most clearly, not your desire to stifle her freedom. You did such a good job with it, I think I’ll have to copy most of it to use in a couple of years. Thanks for sharing it!

Sort of but not a bad idea Tim. IN fact, my wife works at the local BMV and I am printing out a copy of it for her. Heather may see it as some serious restrictions but when her friends have either wrecked or been in violation of a law, she will see you are doing it because you love her and want her around. BTW: that expert thing? Forget it. I have raised two and would not want to go there again these days for any amount of money.

Brilliant!!!

As great as contract are (for business purposes), your teen is not your client. Make verbal agreements, I think it shows a lot more trust for the teen and the parent.

Thanks! As a youth pastor I’m interested to see what my parents think of this.

Talking to some of our parents in the past I know that it has been very helpful for teens to have clear consequences to breaking the rules.

Copied and pasted. Thank you very much!

Excellent piece. I have a 14-year-old and we’re already discussing many of these issues in advance. I like the formality of the contract, as it reinforces the serious nature of what they’re about to undertake. I also appreciate the responsibility that it “enforces” on you as parents, which I think a teen would appreciate. You’re in this together, for the benefit of everyone involved.

I plan on printing this out and going over it with my son in the coming days. Thanks!

Heather told J and I about this – I think it’s great…and hilarious!

WTG, Tim! Check out my blog post for a great way to help your teen’s driving skills that can also have a lifetime impact @ http://ministry-it.blogspot.com/2007/08/learning-to-drive.html

Tim, thanks so much for posting this. Tomorrow we will hold funeral services for a very responsible and caring 16-year-old girl who simply didn’t navigate space well and ended up in a fatal, single car crash. It was daytime and no substances were involved whatsoever. Please pray for the Olson-Douglass family in the loss of their daughter Lauren.

I want to thank you for passing this along. I am going to modify your document and share it with parents in our congregation.

My son turns 15 in a few months and I’ve thought about doing something like this. We’ve already talked about driving being a privilege and that just because he turns 16 doesn’t mean he’ll be ready to drive. Thanks for this post, extremely helpful and timely for my family!

I like it !

We are 15 years away from dealing this so I will probably forget this by that time OR the hoverboard and the hovercar will FINALLY arrive ! (yeah right_

As a school teacher I marvel at a young person’s ability to afford fuel. I think gas was 75 cents a gallon when I was starting out !! The last two years with it peaking in the 4-5$ range was staggering to me… even moreso to still see my students out cruising all summer long !!! I’m hearing it probably won’t get past $2.50 this summer so heck, there might be drag racing going on !!!

Is your daughter planning on working to pay for gas or is that coming from an allowance? If so, should’nt the “full tank” allotment (one a month?) be included in the agreement? Just wondering.

Tim,
I think it is a great idea to write it out so there are no misunderstandings about the roles and expectations. It is a bit anal, but I think it smart to err on the side of stating it all…so our teens understand the seriousness of driving. As a country, we have lost too many kids due to their inexperience behind the wheel. Thanks!

So much of “letting go” for driving has already been taught way before driving ever occurs…thinking through decisions, trust that you will be there regardless of circumstances, and self-esteem to lead friends and not simply follow. Putting your expectations in writing is great…continuing to discuss situations is important…and talking to her friends parents reinforces. Chances are other parents want to step up in this way and just haven’t…having everyone on the same page is huge! Good stuff!

Coming from someone who had a few incidents as a young driver, I think this is all pretty fair and not at all hard to be able to follow through with.

Those first few months without tunes would be pretty hard, but my first accident involved multiple friends in the car and Bob Dylan’s “Rainy Day Woman # 12 & 35″ … so your point has officially been proven here.

You guys are great parents.

My parents made it clear to me ( verbally ) all of the things stated in the contract before I began driving ( aside from the no music thing ). They made it especially clear that driving was a privilege they could take away.

With that being said, I think if this contract was presented to me, I would have lit it on fire. Signing a contract with the state is one thing, which I assume was required upon receiving her license, but if I had to sign a contract with my parents I think I would have felt a lack of love and trust EVEN THOUGH both of those things were stated clearly in the contract. Hearing “we trust you and want to be able to continue to trust you” carries a lot of weight. It’s one of those things that flashes in your mind upon deciding whether to do something stupid or not ( and we both know that that thought enters my mind all too often ).

Anyways, I hope I didn’t rain on this parade, you guys are AWESOME parents. I just had a different perspective on the contract portion.

i think that is an amazing document. sure, it’s kind of anal, but whatever. it shows an incredible amount of insight, thoughtfulness and foresight. thanks for sharing!

I would love to know if you find it easy to stick to the speed limit Tim

Tim,
Thanks for sharing the contract with us. Our 16 year old has been driving for 5 months now and we’re about to have a 15 year old with a learners permit. This is great!

Good thoughts Ben. Are you by any chance the staff member who was seen behind the building burning the employee handbook?

Tim,

Thanks for posting this, especially the actual contract. As another Youth Pastor commented, I plan to take it and make it adaptable for parents.
Should every parent do this? Na.
Anal? Maybe.
Too Much? Only if you don’t follow through on it. (Ecc. 5:5 comes to mind)

I’d be interested hearing updates over the next two years on the ease and tensions for if/when the consequences need to be enforced (of course I also fully understand and respect the need to guard Heather’s privacy over this blog).

Again, thanks Tim!

Tim this is a great idea. As I said before my son is taking his test in October. He’s been doing pretty good but gives me trouble with wanting music on and being distracted. I’m not giving in to the music thing until he gets really good.

I think I’ll print the agreement out and run it by my wife. Thanks

PS I’m a little dissappointed after posting my comments about the either/or thing, nobody responded.

No no no… I burned mine in my basement. JK!
But, I did film you burning a copy of Pop Goes the Church.
That was fun.
No offense to your book, I just like fire.

Most excellent, Sensei! Thanks for the idea! -samurai jack

Thanks for sharing this I actually put it on our parents page for our youth section of our website. http://www.churchattuscaloosa.com/vertigo – parents link. Thanks so much. I love giving parents great resources to help them in the parenting journey.

Great contract. The only thing that seems lenient is the 11 pm & 1 am curfew imposed by IN state.

We were considering using the daily newspaper for our girls curfew for the first 3 months. When the paper says it’s going to be dusk , they have to be home w/ the car. Nighttime driving around here is super dangerous w/ all the cattle & game on the roads.

Other than that, I think it’s awesome!

Tim That was Great I will need to use this in 14 Years when Nicholas is of age… Thanks