I Thought About Stealing $569.78
I just built a deck…and it cost a whole lot of money. After having wood decks for the past 20 years, I decided I was done with painting, staining and maintaining. So I ran the numbers and designed my dream deck using composite wood materials from the local lumber company. Even the first phase of the deck cost me the price of a good used car–but since I'm planning on staying in this house for a few more decades, I took the plunge.
As I was building my Taj Madeck, I kept thinking…Decks shouldn't cost this much. There must be a high profit margin on this material.
So when I got the invoice and noticed they had wrongly credited me double for a return of excess materials, I actually thought about keeping the money. They would never know. They certainly wouldn't feel it. I sure needed the money more than they did.
I actually mulled it over in my mind for an entire day. For me, $569.78 is a lot of money. It took me about 24 hours to make the right decision. But I could feel it eating away at my soul. And I didn't like the way that felt.
The gospel of Mark talks about my struggle this way: And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world (i.e. $569.78) but lose your own soul? (Mark 8:36 NLT).
I've often wondered thought about people who fall in a big, public way. I wonder about John Edwards or Bernie Madoff or Ted Haggard or Chris Brown — if you could peel back their history, would you be able to pinpoint the one bad choice at the beginning of it all? And how harmless would that one choice have seemed to them at the time? It was likely a choice that was guaranteed (at least in their own mind) to never be uncovered.
I wasn't going to share mystory because it is a bit embarrassing (I really did think about keeping the money). But I share it because I think it is likely that someone else might be in the "I'm-not-sure-what-I'm-going-to-do-yet" phase of your choice. Perhaps it involves money, or maybe it is a choice in a relationship or in your marriage. Let me just encourage you by saying your decision matters.
Sometimes confession can give you the strength to do the right thing. If you find it helpful, consider the comment section below a confessional of sorts.
Posted by Tim Stevens | 14 comments
www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawn1aJH9B-vK-hyfErDUuZzT5pjJbScNHoo
I’ve thought this myself (the Mark 8:36 part, especially) when some kid in my youth group gave me too much money for a shirt or when a cashier gave me a dollar too much change. Is my integrity really worth $5 or $569.78? If I’ll sell out for $5 today, what will I sell out for tomorrow?
Great thoughts. Thanks!
Lance Fisher
Tim, I’m glad you share stuff like this. It lets us know that pastors are human too, and face temptations like everyone else. Through God’s grace you made the right choice, and so can we when faced with similar situations.
wccradio
Tim,
Great post. We often deal with that in the church as well, especially in IT, where systems and licenses are often vague and confusing. We had a recent situation down here that could have saved the church a lot of money but would have been the wrong choice. I wrote a post about it (warning… a little geeky!)
http://watermarkgeeks.com/2009/03/23/honest-is-the-best-policy/
Lisa Kurman
Thanks for sharing, Tim. We are not TRUE leaders until we can be transparent about some of the areas where we are weak or where our character has been challenged. Maybe THAT is where falls begin… not in the choices but the confessions.
Sam
Thanks for your transparency Tim. It was a good heart-check for me! Sam
bill (cycleguy)
Appreciate the story Tim. My struggle is not so much with the money thing although I have never been tested with a significant amount. Mine is more taking credit when maybe the idea was someone else’s idea or or to act smart like I already had already been thinking on something when I hadn’t. You are right (implied): honesty or the tendency to dishonesty comes in all colors.
Benji Zimmerman
I have thought about keeping the money many times. Thanks for the reminder. Appreciate the honesty Tim.
Timmy
I kept the money.
Tom Becker
Tim I really didn’t know where you were going with this but this is a great story. It’s more than just the fact that you were honest about it. I know we all face things like this. But I really like how you remind us that our decisions make a difference. It put the focus on us and really made a lot of people think.
Dan Clark
Tim,
I appreciate you sharing the story. I often use these situations/moments to talk to my daughter about making the right choice (& that it isn’t always easy. They need to be right age (she is 14)to use these stories, but I think it is important for them to understand that some choices are not easy to make…even for the parents. Thanks.
Paul T.
Tim,
There are two struggles with sharing this story. One, that others might think less of you for thinking what you did. The second struggle is that others might think you’re a little cocky for sharing a situation where you successfully followed Christ in a difficult situation.
I’m glad that disregarded both struggles and shared this with us.
larry
Why do churches have “senior” or “executive” pastors? What are they? Are these modifiers really needed? Enjoyed your post today. Peace,larry
Terrace Crawford
SOLID post. Thank you.
–Terrace Crawford
http://www.terracecrawford.com
http://www.twitter.com/terracecrawford
James
Thank you for sharing. Transparency from leadership is so encouraging and refreshing.