From the Mouths of Babes

I'm not sure if I laughed so much at this because I'm a PARENT…a PASTOR…or perhaps both.

HT: Jack Magruder and Brian McLaren

Parent-Teen Driving Agreement

I'm not an expert at raising teens. Maybe someday I will be (by time the last kid is out of the house, we will have had 15-years of experience parenting teens). But for now, we just ask lots of questions and listen to people who have more experience.

About a year ago we began to teach Heather how to drive…which culminated with getting her license this past Friday. Of course, we've never taught anyone how to drive before, and there isn't a training course available for parents. We're just supposed to figure this stuff out. So I started reading. I learned…

• Inexperienced driving is cited as the reason for most teenage crashes. 
• 16-year-olds are about three times more likely to die in a crash as the average-aged driver. 
• 16-year-olds have a higher crash rate than any other age of driver. 
• About half of teenage deaths occur when there is another teen in the car. 
• Death rates for 16- and 17-year-old drivers increase with each extra passenger.

I realized it's not about trust–it's about experience. Heather is a great driver, but she will make mistakes in the learning process (as we all do). It's our job to do everything we can to help minimize the possible damage from those mistakes. Tragedies happen and we can't ensure her safety, but we can do much to prepare her and decrease the chances that she is the cause of a tragedy.

So we pulled ideas from a bunch of websites and wrote up a Parent/Teen Driving Contract. It outlines graduated freedoms based on experience, and lets her know that we are here to support her as she gets used to being on the road alone.

Want a copy?  Download Heather Driving Agreement

What do you think…too anal? Thoughts from other parents?

So You Got The Whole Volunteer Thing Figured Out?

• Do you have all the volunteers you need?
• Do leaders at your church think it is the responsibility of the pastor or staff to find them volunteers?
• Do you lack for ideas on how to celebrate and affirm your volunteers?

• Do you often avoid conflict with volunteers because you aren't quite sure how to tackle it?

I'd love to spend the day with you drilling down on the effective usage of volunteers in your church. How do you find them, train them, lead them, affirm them, correct them and direct them?

That is all happening at the Simply Strategic Volunteers workshop next month. We are also offering 8 additional workshops or practicums–so bring a whole team and spend a couple days with us. We promise to take good care of you. Register online to hold your spot.

Thursday, June 25 [9 a.m.-4 p.m.]
- Less Clutter. Less Noise. [How to get the word out.]
- EnterMission [Engaging your people in local and global missions.]
- First Impressions [Keep guests coming back to your church.]
- Kids [Creating safe, fun space for kids to know Jesus.]
- Multi-site Church Practicum [Strategies for launching a multi-site.]

Friday, June 26 [9 a.m.-4 p.m.]
- Less Clutter. Less Noise. Day 2 [Extend Day 1 with consulting.]
- Lasting Impressions [Keeping guests growing and engaged.]
- Simply Strategic Volunteers [Finding and keeping great volunteers.]
- Information Technology Practicum [IT best practices, resources and tools.]

Drop me a line if you'll be joining us…I'd love to meet you.

I Thought About Stealing $569.78

I just built a deck…and it cost a whole lot of money. After having wood decks for the past 20 years, I decided I was done with painting, staining and maintaining. So I ran the numbers and designed my dream deck using composite wood materials from the local lumber company. Even the first phase of the deck cost me the price of a good used car–but since I'm planning on staying in this house for a few more decades, I took the plunge.

As I was building my Taj Madeck, I kept thinking…Decks shouldn't cost this much. There must be a high profit margin on this material.

So when I got the invoice and noticed they had wrongly credited me double for a return of excess materials, I actually thought about keeping the money. They would never know. They certainly wouldn't feel it. I sure needed the money more than they did.

I actually mulled it over in my mind for an entire day. For me, $569.78 is a lot of money. It took me about 24 hours to make the right decision. But I could feel it eating away at my soul. And I didn't like the way that felt.

The gospel of Mark talks about my struggle this way: And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world (i.e. $569.78) but lose your own soul? (Mark 8:36 NLT).

I've often wondered thought about people who fall in a big, public way. I wonder about John Edwards or Bernie Madoff or Ted Haggard or Chris Brown — if you could peel back their history, would you be able to pinpoint the one bad choice at the beginning of it all? And how harmless would that one choice have seemed to them at the time? It was likely a choice that was guaranteed (at least in their own mind) to never be uncovered.

I wasn't going to share mystory because it is a bit embarrassing (I really did think about keeping the money). But I share it because I think it is likely that someone else might be in the "I'm-not-sure-what-I'm-going-to-do-yet" phase of your choice. Perhaps it involves money, or maybe it is a choice in a relationship or in your marriage. Let me just encourage you by saying your decision matters.

Sometimes confession can give you the strength to do the right thing. If you find it helpful, consider the comment section below a confessional of sorts.

I Love Having Teenagers

And today, my 16-year old got her license. Here is a 3-minute video with highlights from our experience!

Why Does it Have to Be “Either / Or” ?

Craig Groeschel is a friend and one of my favorite Christian leaders. I respect him greatly. But I had many questions as I read his blog post this morning. He writes…

The American Church is not lacking for “cool” pastors. Like a single guy who is trying just-a-bit-too-hard to impress a girl, some churches are simply trying too hard to be cool.

I’m very encouraged to see a shifting in direction. For years, many of us seemed focused on:

• Designing relevant church experiences.
• Producing entertaining videos.
• Creating inviting environments.
• Crafting sermon series to draw a crowd.
• Writing sermons with shock value and plenty of humor or stories.

While all of the above can be effective tools, many of my friends are intentionally moving in a stronger direction. So many great Christian leaders are seeing far better results with:

• Bathing a sermon in prayer.
• Fasting regularly.
• Practicing personal confession and repentance.
• Preaching from the overflow of time alone in God’s word.
• Caring deeply for others in biblical community.

I’m thrilled so many leaders are placing less emphasis on being cool and more emphasis on being like Christ.

I totally get where Craig is coming from. I’ve also seen churches that appear imbalanced toward the “cool” rather than “being like Christ.” But I have one big question:

Why does it have to be either/or? Can’t it be both/and?

Can’t a church service be both relevant and bathed in prayer? Can’t a church leader both fast regularly and decide to use an entertaining video to communicate truth? Can’t a pastor both care very deeply for others to be in biblical community and create a sermon series with the very purpose of drawing a crowd?

It is true that we can find plenty of Scriptural examples of fasting, prayer, personal confession, repentance and biblical community. But we can also find New Testament examples of Jesus, Paul and others being relevant, creating inviting environments, using humor and entertaining stories and preaching to large crowds.

Knowing Craig, I am guessing he is sensing a void in church leadership and thus trying to create a dialogue. So let’s talk…is this a “both/and” situation? Or should we abandon our efforts to design relevant church experiences?

What Are You Doing?

This video touched my heart. It outlines the story of a small group of believers from America who made a difference with their time and money in a village in southern India.

You can't be involved in everything, but you can be involved in something. What's your cause?

I Like These Guys!

Leadership Live is in full swing with participants from around the country. Our senior team is spending two full days with these men pressing in to the angst and joys of leading ministry. No question is off limits…no topic can't be discussed.

Blue Man Visits GCC

Okay, it wasn't the real Blue Man group…but three disguised volunteers from the church started the service with some fun and energy that no one was expecting.

A Unique Perspective About Ted Haggard

I've been getting lots of feedback about my post earlier this week regarding the talk by Ted and Gayle Haggard. Some of it you've seen by way of comments, and some has come on Twitter or by email. What follows is an email I received with a unique perspective. I asked the writer for permission to share it with you…

I just read your blog through a link on my Facebook site from a friend.  I was one of those people who initially felt betrayed by Ted and Gayle as I was a new Christian and had come to love Ted and Gayle and the Church they had built.  It was where my wife, myself and two of my four children found a relationship with Christ.  It was also ironic that it was where I found the courage to overcome my struggle with sexual immorality and pornography.  I ended up leading small group discussions for members of the church group (males only) that were trying to overcome the same addictions.

As a result of Ted’s choices, I realized how hurt I was.  The hypocrisy ran deep in the church and the person who seeded the church did in fact betray us and let us down.  The irony of this was that a maturity came from this incident that I believe healed the church.  Ted was asked to leave…that was wrong.  He and Gayle would have been the first ones to pick up a member of the church and dust them off.  That betrayal was to the Christian belief in principal, that we really weren’t as far along in our walk with the Lord as we may have thought or would like to think.

 

Some maturity that came from this experience for myself (and my family…from what we discuss).  We learned to love the Lord, put faith in his Word and not the person who was speaking it.  We don’t judge so quickly when one falls, and we are also not fast to show grace to those held at a higher standard of moral posture.  We have grown to love the Lord, and our children understand that they are to show grace to all because they understand first hand, even the strong do in fact grow weary and weak.

 

We also know to accept responsibility for our own actions and choices and not try to portray them as something that happened to us, but rather something we chose to accept the potential consequences of by proceeding with the specific action when other choices were present.

 

Thanks for the reminder…we are going to be teaching our third child these lessons so his walk with the lord is not compromised by the irresponsibility of another’s poor choice.

 

By the way Ted Haggard…we long ago forgave you for the uncharacteristic lack of character you displayed while struggling with the poor choices you made.  We wish you Gods power and promise you taught us to love.  To Gayle…continue to be the example of grace to those who are so quick to pass and cast judgment.  You have been an example to all.