Q5: Ted & Gayle Haggard

On Tuesday afternoon at the Q Conference, Ted & Gayle Haggard were interviewed. Gabe Lyons opened the session by asking us not to blog or twitter or publicly talk about the interview, and that no members of the press were allowed in the room.

Following the interview, I was in a Q&A session with Mike Foster (one of the moderators of the conference). He informed us that Ted & Gayle asked Q to reconsider that restriction of silence. He said they wanted their story to be dispersed. Mike said, "So please feel free to blog or talk about your experience in the session."

The session began with a 5-minute video condensed from the documentary called HBO: The Trials of Ted Haggard. Then the interview began. First some quotes…then my thoughts:

• Ted: I put my friendships at risk. Some couldn’t respond well, that wasn’t their fault, that was my fault.

• Ted: If people hate me, that’s just. If they are kind and accepting, that’s grace. I don’t judge those who are mean. I’m grateful for those who kind.
• Gayle: I could look at this man I love and know that this struggle isn’t all that there is to him. I wasn’t going to let my new knowledge of this sin destroy everything we had built.
• Gayle: I knew as a believer I am to forgive and love. I found as I chose to forgive, I would heal. And as I got angry, I would hurt more and spiral down. He didn’t need me to tell him how much I hurt him, cause he already knew that. He needed my grace.
• Ted: Very few believers gave me a second chance. It was Alexander Pelosi (film maker), Oprah and Larry King who gave me my second chances. I had some advocates, but they weren’t the believers.
• Ted: At one point, I became suicidal and discouraged, not because of the process, but because I asked for help and the church wasn't there. It caused me to question whether the church believed the gospel.
• Ted: Before my fall, I had tried to tell people, they didn’t help me. I regret that the responses were so empty.
• Gayle: Our real struggle was against particular leaders. The individuals in the church were mostly very kind and forgiving. But some of the leaders and decision makers felt we needed to be gone. That was excruciatingly painful.

I had lots of thoughts as I listened to the interview. The video seemed very produced and staged…like a Ted Haggard commercial, not an unbiased documentary. He also came across very bitter at the church which "exiled" his family. To be fair, I haven't seen the entire video–just the condensed portion they chose to show us.

However, in the interview itself, Ted came across mostly repentant and remorseful. I wondered why the difference from the video. I found out later the documentary was filmed over a period of time throughout 2007 and 2008 so didn't necessarily reflect his current thinking. I was glad to hear that he was now accepting more responsibility.

There was still a little bit of a self-focused victim-mindset by both he and Gayle in that they were wronged and hurt by the leaders of the church which bothered me a bit. I can't see their hearts, but I'd love to see that completely dealt with before they go public with their ministry. Even their newly designed website seems to explain away the fall as something that happened "to" him, not because of his choices: "Ted Haggard suffered a personal and family crisis causing him to resign from his positions." It would be great if 100% of the focus of their story was on Ted, his sin, his journey of healing, and the efforts to hold his family together.

I guess I wasn't the only one who walked away with those thoughts. As I sat in a discussion immediately following the interview with 20 leaders from the conference, several expressed anger or frustration with a church who would treat Ted and Gayle that way. Yet, I couldn't help but think of the 14,000 church members who were betrayed by their leader in November 2006 and the healing that had to take place for the entire community.

Ted and Gayle have moved back to Colorado Springs, have begun conducting healing meetings in their home, and are actively engaging in speaking opportunities across the nation. My sincere prayer is that their reemergence into the public eye does not come too fast or furious, lest the trappings of ministry and the glare of the spotlight short circuit the continued healing process.

Q4 Gregory Berns on the Iconoclast Brain

This is the second session I didn’t expect to connect with…yet found it very interesting. Gregory Berns is the chair of neuroeconomics at Emory University. Basically, he’s a very smart dude, and recently wrote a book entitled Iconoclast: A Neuroscientist Reveals How to Think Differently. Some quotes I gathered from his talk…

• Iconoclast = someone who tears down icons, or conventional ways of thinking.
• Three roadblocks to innovative thinking: Perception, fear and social intelligence.
• The brain uses only about 40 watts of energy. There is a partial truth to the fact that you only use 10-15% of your brain at a time. That’s because your brain doesn’t have enough energy to power more than that at any given time.
• Imagination uses the same circuits in the brain as perception.
• Fear is processed in the amygdala.
• I think there is only one fear that we truly have…the fear of being alone. Almost all fear is socially based.
• Fear is damaging to creativity in the workplace.
• It is extremely rare for one person to have all three qualities (a grasp on perception, fear and social intelligence).
• Even though you likely don’t contain all three of these qualities, you can have a team around you in areas where you aren’t strong.
• Our brains are hard-wired to be social. We want to be part of something. And we want to do it with others.
• "Aha" moments of creativity and innovation rarely happen in your normal place (i.e. home, work). It often happens when you are out of your normal comfort zone

Gregory's final note: It is the job of CEO's and managers to create environments where iconclasts can flourish. Tim's Note: That makes my heart beat fast…that is part of what I love doing!

Q2: Joel Kotkin on the Future of the Suburbs

Joel Kotkin led off the second talk of Q Conference with some interesting stats about the future of the suburbs. Bottom line: They aren't going away. It is the growing edge of the population base of the world, and thus the opportunity for the church. Some thoughts from his talk…

• About 50% of foreigners migrate directly into the suburbs.
• Historically suburbs have been about young families, but this is changing and the suburbs are beginning to become multi-generational and multi-cultural.
• The future of suburbs might be described as a “multipolarity” – a balance of economics, environment and community.
• By 2030, about 20% of the population will be working from home. Most people will be willing to take a cut in pay in order to work from home.
• Communities are made up of 3 things: The sacred, the safe, and the busy.
• The churches that are growing of every kind (Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Christian) are happening in the suburbs.

Q1: Alan Hirsch on Post Christendom Mission

The Q Conference kicked off right away with an 18-minute talk by Alan Hirsch, author of The Forgotten Ways: Reactivating the Missional Church. Some quotes…

• The church is becoming increasingly isolated.
• The culture in which the church is operating is becoming more complex.
• We are moving away from a culture that centers around the church.
• Attractional church = defined as church that expects people to come to it. This works well within its’ cultural orbit. But not with those who are significantly distant from the church.
• A missionary mindset should be extractional as well as attractional. That is, we go to the culture, not just expect them to come to us.
• In a survey in post-Christian Australia that people gave thumbs-up to God, Jesus and Spirituality…but bad marks to the Church.
• Problem: 40% of Americans are attracted to the “contemporary church growth model” but 90% of all church plants are pursuing that model. That is a missional problem. We need innovative new ideas for reaching the other 60%.
• Organizational insanity = trying to get significantly different results by doing primarily the same thing better.

Ministry for the Unemployed

In Pop Goes the Church I wrote extensively about the importance of being missional church leaders. It's up to us to figure out the "felt needs" in people's lives–and do everything we can to meet those needs. If we don't, the community won't know we care and they won't be open to the message of Jesus.

I spoke of needs like marriage problems, handling your kids, money management and finding purpose in life. Well, today's reality brings up a whole new need.

You've heard that the unemployment rate in our area is among the highest in the nation…more than 18% in one county and 12% in another. We've been praying, planning and talking about how to help our community face these new issues.

Through the leadership of Mark Waltz and Kathy Guy, we are launching a program called Networking for Job Seekers. It's a gathering on May 5th with plans for an ongoing support network. We imagine this program will be a huge opportunity for Granger attendees to be helped, but even beyond that, I believe it will be a front-door event to ultimately reach more of our community for Christ.

My Kindle 2 Arrived

That's right, I finally pulled the trigger and decided by buy a Kindle 2 electronic reader. And guess which book I ordered first?

I know I'm the author, but it still cost me $9.99 to buy my own book. Life isn't fair, is it?

Now, what should be the second book I order?

Amazed and Humbled by this Man’s Words

This morning I read again the words that Paul Wirth (pastor of Relevant Church in Florida) wrote about his time at Granger last year attending Leadership Live. Unbelievable words. And a great offer for his readers (and now for you) for anyone who wants to attend Leadership Live in two weeks…

From Paul Wirth…

Well I know that yesterday I twittered that today I would share with you a great leadership opportunity so here it goes. Last year I took my whole SMT (Senior Management Team) to the leadership intensive training at GCC (Granger Community Church) called Leadership Live. The only thing that I can say about it is WOW! We had been outside observers and fans of GCC and their ministry for a couple of years, so when we saw the opportunity to spend 2 days with their top leaders in a small intimate setting we said lets make it happen. All I can say is that it was worth every penny that we spent. Here we are a year later still talking about and using the principles that we learned from the Team at GCC.

So what is the offer you may ask? Well here is the deal. I heard that there were a few spots still available for this years Leadership Live (which I was shocked by), and so I wanted to help some guys out who would like to go but the finances are a bit of a problem. So here is what I am offering. I would like to pay $200 toward anyone that would like to go to this 2 day leadership training. The total cost for the trip is $1500 and I know that $200 does not seem like a lot but I can tell you that if you have any money set aside for leadership training this is where you should spend it.

This is what I can tell you from my personal experience about Leadership Live:

• The GCC team is the most honest down to earth (real guys) I have ever rubbed shoulders with.
• They share both the successes and failures of ministry (don't you hate going to conferences where everything is great and you feel like all your stuff sucks)
• This is not a conference it is real people sitting around a table talking about how to expand the Kingdom of God.
• This is not just for large churches. (we are only church of 400 and we learned stuff that is going to help us over the next 5 years)
• The Systems and leadership structure that they share are extremely practical and useful for any size church.
• This is not a 2 day event and then it is over. (The GCC team has made themselves available to our staff when we have needed them since Leadership Live)
• Where else can you get one on one face time with 5 key leaders of a growing ministry for a round table discussion.
• I do not know of any other training event that I have been to where the idea of Excellence was displayed better. (from the accommodations, to the food, to all off the little things that just made it over the top)

Guys I could go on and on. I feel like the guy from the Hair Club for Men. "I am not just a fan, I am a client". Well I am not just a fan of GCC but God has used this ministry in a huge way in my life personally and in the life of Relevant Church and things are different because of it. Last year like I said we took our SMT to last year to Leadership Live and then took 20 key volunteers to Innovate in September and things have not been the same since.

So if this sounds like something that you would like to do go to WiredChurches.com and sign up. Just mention my name and GCC will let me know that you signed up.

FYI: I am not getting a kick back from GCC for this I really believe in leaders learning from great leaders. Trust me I have been to a ton of conferences and seminars and not one of them compares to the tools that I received from Leadership Live.

Everyone Loves a Good Story

Jesus was a great story-teller. So is Mark Beeson. I've been with him for 15 years and I never get tired of hearing him tell stories.

This weekend, Mark told one of his classic stories about his days on the track team in high school. Enjoy…

Everyone loves a good story. Why is that? Why do you suppose people can remember a story long after they remember anything else you said?

Who Won…the Chicken or the Rabbit?

A few weeks ago, I noted on Twitter that a strange man dressed in a Bunny costume had just walked past the window outside my office. Here is the video they were creating…

Wisconsin Isn’t That Far Away

If you live anywhere near Wisconsin, I'd love to meet you on May 12th at Th?nk Tank 2009. It's an all-day conference for church leaders hosted at the Spencer Lake Christian Center in Waupaca, Wisconsin.

Where the heck is Waupaca? Well, by car it's only…

• 2 hours from Milwaukee
• 3.5 hours from Chicago
• 4 hours from Minneapolis
• 5 hours from South Bend
• 6.5 hours from Grand Rapids (including 2 hrs across Lake Michigan on a ferry)
• 7 hours from Des Moines
• 8 hours from St. Louis
• 15 hours from Washington, DC
• 32 hours from San Diego

I'll be presenting two different talks based on my book Pop Goes the Church – including numerous videos and practical "how-to" ideas. Also presenting are Jon Brooks and Joe Kessler

This seminar has an amazing price with it (only $50), and every registrant gets a free copy of the book. Can't beat that.

C'mon…you should join us! Register today.