The 30-Night Rule
There are six big areas that pull on my time.
- I want to spend time with my wife.
- I want to spend quantity time with my kids at a very important time in their life.
- I want to lead our staff well and do my job with integrity.
- I want to learn from other church leaders (conferences, visit other churches)
- I want to resource other church leaders (teach).
- I want to write.
All of these things are good. All of them are important. And there is a dynamic tension which exists in trying to juggle all of these priorities. I’ve seen leaders mess up.
- Some sacrifice their marriage for their job.
- Some sacrifice their kids.
- Some leaders get on the teaching circuit and stop learning. They spend all their travel time teaching and no longer take time to sit at someone else’s feet and learn.
I want to avoid all these extremes.
I’ve been tracking my travel schedule for a couple years. In 2006 I spent 37 nights away from Faith. In 2007 it increased to 45 nights.
That is too many. This year it is coming down. I’ve decided to spend no more than 30 nights away from my wife in 2008.
Oh, you should know I realize the 30 night rule is not in the Bible. It’s just what is right for me and my family right now. Others may draw the line at a different place. Mark Batterson is also committed to 30 nights. Craig Groeschel limits his travel to around 12 nights a year. I don’t think the number is the point–the fact that you give it some thought and get some input is important.
Where do you draw the line?
Posted by Tim Stevens | 8 comments
Michael
i give priority to the events where my wife or my wife and family could travel with me.
Phil Thompson
It’s refreshing to see a guy actually cut back on his traveling schedule instead of the other way. I hate being apart from my wife and son for one night! I occasionally speak at other churches but i’m rarely gone for more than a few nights at a time. I have turned down overseas trips for that reason. I will sneak off for a week or so at least once a year to indulge my rock crawling addiction in Colorado. A guy’s gotta keep his priorities, right?
travis Spencer
I just got “Choosing to Cheat” by Andy Stanely.
Balancing home and work is always a huge challenge.
Thanks for your post on traveling.
What about just being at church at night or evening meetings? Do you have a rule of thumb to limit that time?
Nick Poole
I’m at 9667 nights and counting!!
Tim Stevens
Travis – In my role, I have very few evening meetings. I’m there with my family for church on Thursday evening and Saturday evening. Besides that, I might have 6 or 8 evening meetings in a year.
greg smith
I have never thought about a specific number of nights away from my family. It’s a good idea to manage, though. When I was at HP, travel was managed through percentages. Assuming approx. 20 days of work per month on average, 10% (my average or less) was 2 days, times 12 months: 24 days – clearly under the 30 day limit. With that said, my goal in my role would be 20 days or less…preferably less. Thanks for getting me thinking (again).
Allan White
Great post, I can relate to the priorities. My wife has gotten the short shrift this last year.
@Phil: gotta have adventures in there, I can relate! My wife has been very cool about encouraging me to go out and be in the Cascades with my buddies. Likewise, when the chance to go on an aid trip to Sri Lanka arrived, it was easy to support her going.
ChaseYourLion
This has always been a struggle for me in my 12 years of youth ministry. There have always been 2 weeks of youth camp(now back to back) and a missions trip every summer. That’s 17 days within a 2 month span. It has gotten even tougher with 3 children. Thanks for your public commitment to your family and for setting a standard we can all shoot for.
http://www.chaseyourlion.com